beautiful people

I have many addictions. And one of them is the addiction to beautiful things. I am especially addicted to beautiful people. can't blame me. So I just spend an hour staring at someone in a study lounge, It is quite bad. Something about the aesthetic things pleasing to the eyes seem to be the very doom of my existence.

block

I wanted to do something badly. But when it came to the grips of it, I found that I don't have the heart to finish it. Maybe I have been converted into Heathcliff.

St Paul's whispering gallery.
My friend told me that if one person stands on one side of the whispering wall and whisper, people at the other wall on the way on the other side of the cathedral can hear you..
London. I have breathed the same air and dreamed the same dreams about it,
I want to run away to Europe.
So my dreams can escape together with me.

I had a lovely dream last night, I don't know if I self simulated it or if I it was really a genuine dream, or just my interpretation of it. I did reach the epiphany that I can be very stubborn, and I hate lies. I can't stand it when friends lie to me. But this anger channels energy to me. I realize that I have very high expectations for other people and that I sometimes pose surreal moral standards when it comes to friendship, relationship and family. I just wish that I follow the same standards in which I use to weigh others, because only that will be fair, right?

watching debate rounds was very insightful when I could concentrate, but sometimes it can be very painful because it makes me feel like that we are living in more of a illusion. I guess that people don't really change that much if they want to believe so. I thought that I could be an extrovert, but I've found out that it is genuinely more satisfying to follow my introvert ways and styles.

We don't know the world in any other way besides representations, at this juncture, I guess we are all illusionary.

I noticed a cool blog from a doctor in residency, it is http://neurodocvic.blogspot.com/?expref=next-blog, in case it gets lost.

try or die

try or die?.
dido , dido, dido..
9 minutes, 6 minutes, 3 minutes,
The new york times,
facebook,
internet,
on/off,
my account,
the refrigerator
spelling errors,
words that don't make sense,
laptops
ringtones,
keyboards,
papers,
chill, chill, chill.
jumpdrive,
friends,
people,
missed calls,
forgotten words,
pictures,
idols,
beds,
door knobs
batteries,
toothbrushes,
showers,
the essential things,
the days of a week,
a peak, a plateau,
or a plain,
an avacado, a kiwi,
or an apple,
a tasteless, a pungent,
or a normal,
okay, let's start over again.

embarrasing stories

recently, I've noticed some wrinkles under my eye.. mmm, so I generated one possibility of where this came about, I think it is because I was recently using my mother's anti-wrinkle eye cream. A conspiracy, maybe, to get the middle-aged addicted to their brands?

I was sitting in starbucks the other day in Dallas, Texas, and even though it felt like I was in the middle of nowhere, it felt very homey. I am observing a round where a debator is pounding on the tub on which she rests her laptop on. Recently, words have become very choppy to me for some reason, maybe it is because I just had to debate that the language of nukespeak is damaging. It is weird that I am studying for the LSAT because world politics is very numbing to me. After realizing that the execution of Saddam Hussein was only sped up to generate more outcome for the American congressional elections, I just felt fed up with lies. But then enacting policy and being in office seems to be the only way to solve issues and to impact lives at large.
I think I have been fed up with a lot of nonsense. Suddenly Europe seemed very appealing to me. A lot of people are trapped in their own worlds, standards, their morals. I am trapped to my philosophies, my self-fulfiling philosophies and my desires. For instance, it has recently been very hard for me to give up anything that I started, so that even though I don't really find joy and freedom in some of the things I do, I find solace in the consistency and I keep up with them.
Maybe we are all compressd and squeezed and numbed somehow, that's probably why we procrastinate because we can't feel the urgency or the need to move on and act until it glares at us in the face.